Dating Revelations

This post is written by Karlos DeMarko ( The one from the past week too! )

Bitches on the Beaches. Let’s start.

1) Phi, Phi Thailand

Well this place is actually whole 2 islands with perfect beaches. There are some very good restaurants, nice clubs and coffee bars. Between November and January the crowd is very big because it doesn’t rain during this time of the year.

P.S. Well it might rain…How could I know????

2) Tenerife, Canary Islands.

Because of its fake made reef the water is very quiet and there no waves. The temperature of the air is always between 20-24 degrees. And the one of the water is between 19-22. Just like in the movies. During the year there no more than 30 raining days which is the reason why it is full of people. May and November are not recommended to visit for pick up.

3) Bora beach, Philippines

This is a definition for “Beautiful beach”. The reason this one is a definition for beautiful beach is because of the so called “white beach”. The water is very short even a kid will find it difficult to drawn, and the sand is cleaner, softer and brighter than the around-pussy-part of 18 years old hot bikini Finn model girl. There are more than 350 hotels so it is almost impossible to sleep on the sand. Of course there are lots of night clubs so the last thing that you will think of is “what to do”.

Well, this is Philippines, not Hollywood. Not everything is perfect.

4) South Beach Miami, Florida ( Yes, U, S and A )

This is the place where happens the coolest parties in the Milky Way galaxy. On top of that even the beach itself is cool (there is sand, blue water and so on). The one who has visited once will do it for a third time whatever it costs. Most people go there during November and April. That;s why you should go there for example between….. November and April.

You like the girls above?

Well there are men around the world who shag such women and you are staying home and reading this. Dude, life is so rude to you.

5) Negril, Jamaika. ( I know that Jamaica spells with “C” so don’t teach me)

( Yes, I think it is made with Photoshop too )

Here the weather is good about 363 days during the year. If you success to visit it during these days you will enjoy the 10 kilometers long beach line, nice sand the quite surrounding. It’s so quite that you will hope somebody to take you home to work for him for minimal salary. That’s why you don’t want to go there during the SUMMER. Winter is much better. Go figure.

6. Gold Coast, Australia

Trust me or not but there is a casino here.

7. Cancun beach, Mexico

Endless party is going on here. Especially during February – Mart. The most beautiful slutty girls come here (they have a vacation). It is sunny at least 267 days during the year. Never go there during September-October except if you are not dying for the killing storms.

P.S.

Dude, be realistic. It is going to be very expensive to sleep at that hotel. There are so many others.

8. Waikiki, Hawaii ( with double “i” )

No body has found his true love on this beach so don’t hope that you will.

The gateway to hawaii. A good place for suicide but you will need lots of money to get inside firstly. I heard that J. Lo was there. ( You can be deadly sure that she used the toilet too )

You can lock your dog around some of these palms while walking around and trying to see some boobs.

I don’t know them, especially the one that is a step in front.

Yes, he must be training something. ( Volleyball maybe)

About the beach:

One of the most famous beaches on the planet ( Earth ). The reason you want to go there is because the nature is very beautiful and the nowadays way of living takes its place around it, especially the dirty girls who don’t take a bath. There are almost all kinds of races there (even Hawaiian). You can find Englishmen from England, Australia, Bulgaria, USA, Nigeria and so on. My advice is to go there during December and Mart because during this time of the year the idiots from Bulgaria are working in its capital. My other advice is to not go there during the rest of the months.

9) Copacabana, Brasília.

There is not alive ( or death, around 2 meters below the ground eaten by worms ) person on this planet that doesn’t (didn’t) know about this beach. There are big rocks around the road and the beach. Some people take to the local bars, others take joint. I am sure you know how much Brazilian girls love to suck cock. (Well some of them love it inside their hot sex appeal - not all women are the same). If you have visited this place at least once you can go and die calmly. (Do not forget to pay your duties because your relatives will take the big one.)

They all are going to beach. It must be really cool there.

If outsiders are watching to the earth there is almost no way to no spot this place. Somewhere behind the corners somebody definitely gets a blow job ( by a slutty woman with big lips who takes it to the very deep of her throat )

No body can prove the opposite so it is true!

If you star making out with this girl on the beach keep doing it if you have nothing to say. This way you will hide your nervousness. If she pulls you away and asks: “now..what?” offer her a simple game. Tell her to go to the water and refresh herself ( with water ). During this time steal her wallet from her pants ( they are on the sand ) and go to buy condoms 3+1 so you can fuck her two times ( yes, yes, use two of them at once ).

P.S.

Hey dude, don’t forget to give her wallet back..it’s just a game, remember?

10) Natadola ( beach ) , Fiji.

This is located on the biggest islands of Fiji. Except that you will see very beautiful landscapes ( you can make some for your desktop ) you will also see not that beautiful ones. The water is very hot ( in the sense that the sea water is always very hot ). You can even swim inside. If you want to live in pain because of the violently sun go there during the months May - October.

P.S.

If you are wondering why there are no photos it is because here in Fiji you can not make photos of people with a wooden leg!

- Why can’t i make a photo of somebody with a wooden leg?
- Because to make a photo you have to use a photo-camera, not a wooden leg, you idiot.

See you soon.

Your friend Karlos DeMarko

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